Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Somehow cycling or roller-blading with my 3 brothers always feels different...it just feels special...maybe it's cos i feel more comfortable with them, and i can let my hair down and just enjoy myself without caring about what others think...haha...maybe it's cos i can crack lame jokes, and not worry about being judged on them?...either way, every time spent with them is something i treasure, and will always remember...last sunday we went roller-blading at east coast park, & i really enjoyed myself..was a bit worried though, that either of them might fall down and get injured...sometimes on blades i feel so vulnerable..it's like if any of them fall down, i wouldn't be able to rush over to help him cos i'm not that good at blading...but still, i enjoyed myself tremendously, and it was nice hearing Elisha laugh a lot...haha...
Sorry guys if sometimes i ask people to join us when it's supposed to just be the 4 of us..next time if we go out, it's just us...unless u guys wanna ask others to join us...then sure!..=)
Will bring you guys out again soon!..haha...what do u guys want to do the next time?...roller-blading at East Coast still?...or?...maybe we should try some water sports...i'll think about it!!..haha..oh ya, and let's take more photos!!...next time when u guys grow up, it'd be nice to look back at these memories....
Cheers and Regards,
++ quoth dragonfly at 12:15 AM
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Esa mujer me esta matando
Me a espinado el corazon
Por mas que trato de olvidarla
Mi alma no da razon
Mi corazon aplastado
Herido y abandonado
Aber aber tu sabes dime mi amor por favor
Que dolor nos quedo
Ah ah ah corazon espinado
Ah ah ah como me duele el amor
Como duele como duele el corazon
Cuando nostiene entregados
Pero no olvides mujer que algun dia diras
Hay ya yay como me duele el amor
Como me duele el olvido
Como duele el corazon
Como me duele estar vivo
Sin tenerte aun lado amor
++ quoth dragonfly at 5:20 AM
I hate girls...girls are heartbreakers...i don't care if nobody agrees with me, this is the internet, and there is purported freedom of speech, so live with it!..."Love is patient, love is kind"...Dear God, i'm calling you bluff on this...if i could re-write that part, i'd say Love is blahblahblah(as the bible says) if it's reciprocated...else, love is just a farce...it's just a cover-up word for pain, hate....
I hate the world around me...and you know what?..i honestly don't give a shit if you disagree with me...if whoever's reading my blog is happily in love, so be it...go huddle up with whichever creature u love, and don't bother reading my blog...it's MY opinion, which you are not entitled to raise your disagreement with.
right now what do i like, LOUD music...the louder the better....maybe Boleros can soothe me, and give me peace again...but maybe not...maybe i just need more pump....
8 years of loving you can't melt your heart...i give up...i'm a loser....i'm probably just disgusting to you right?...i've heard from other people what u say sometimes, and honestly, it just seems you're scared of me....haha...no worries...from today on, whatever happens in my life, don't bother ok...i've been hurt enough in these 8 years..not your fault...just that i was stupid and dumb enough to have fallen in love with you, and thought that someday you'd feel touched and appreciate what i do, and give me a chance....sorry, my stupid......
to my friends, i appreciate the advice you've given to me...along these 8 years, i've lost friends too, and to some, i feel sad cos it's my fault that i lost them...to some, you left when i needed your presence, and honestly, that's when our friendship ended..whatever your reason may be, going to your girlfriend's church...or whatever, i can't be bothered...to those who are still in my life, i'm not sure...maybe you're my friend to stay, maybe not...who knows what the future holds?...maybe you'll change, maybe i'll change...and then we won't be friends anymore...but for now, thank you..
to my 3 brothers...i don't consider the 3 of u as just my friends...the 3 of you are the best...to me, you're my brothers, and i thank God for you more than anything else. No matter what happens to me, no matter how the world changes me, 1 thing i promise you, when i'm with you guys, i'm still the old Junpei..the lame, crazy guy etc....don't believe whatever others say about me...some people have poisonous mouths, and hearts as black as soot...and in front of others, i may not show my true self, but rather put on a different personality, a different mask...but to you, Elisha, Jabez, & Paul, i wear no masks, and i am who i was, who i am, and who i will be...all the same Junpei...
Cheers and Regards,
Junpei, Zhu Pei, dragonfly, Nick, or whatever you call me...
++ quoth dragonfly at 3:54 AM
Sunday, October 26, 2008
8 years in the church band, i used to feel i was growing when i played percussions in the main service during bi-lingual worship...but the feeling's changed...enjoyed the last bi-lingual service i played for yesterday..and i guess that was a beautiful way to draw the curtains..=)..i've quit worship ministry as of yesterday.
I will still play when it's youth service, and my 3 brothers are playing though..
Hopefully my new life with the clubs will improve my percussions further.
Cheers and Regards,
++ quoth dragonfly at 7:13 PM
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Love...what a fancy word...What is love?...can someone please explain it to me?...i don't get it...i've come to the conclusion that i must be someone totally unloveable...ugly, stupid, useless, rude, etc etc...whatever...how come i try so hard, but it just doesn't work...life sucks...i hate this life of mine...my tagline for now.."If God is love, why does it hurt?"...your heart must be made of some uber-cool substance that has no melting point...cos no matter what i do, i can't seem to melt that ice-heart of yours...8 years...and it still hasn't melted 1 bit...i hate myself...i dun hate u...i just wish i were someone more likeable...i tried giving up so many times...but i can't...i just can't...don't ignore me now...if u do, i might really go die...
But i must say first...nobody ever knows what tomorrow holds in store...if i should die tomorrow, and you never see me again, please don't feel bad...move on...no point feeling sad after i'm gone...it would hurt me even more wherever i am....there's just no point in it already...
If i were to leave this world tomorrow, dun worry too...the fanclub can do without me...i've already jiao1 dai4 everything properly...website, badges, tee shirts etc...i won't inconvenience u...
If God is love, why does it hurt?
Junpei / monkey / your friend...
++ quoth dragonfly at 9:42 AM
Life is unpredictable...you never know what tomorrow holds in store...Should the Lord decide to bring me back to him tomorrow, or whenever, these will be my last words.
To my 3 brothers, you guys have been the greatest blessing to my life...of the 3 of you, all 3 are special, and each of you are my favourites...no matter what happens to me next, no matter where i go, be it temporary, or be it permanent, i'm glad you guys came into my life...Elisha, you'll always be special because it was through you that i got to know Jabez & Paul..should i leave tomorrow, will you guys still remember me when you reach your 20s?...Will you still remember this big brother of urs?..Paul, lunches with you have always been fun..."behind you.." u always sms me..haha...but somehow i've always been able to find where you are, and spot you before you have a chance to sneak on me...if i'm gone, don't be too upset too...thanks for all the fun you've given me in my life..Jabez, u're very artistic, and hope someday u'll be able to put that to use...in an sms u once said u like following in my footsteps...only follow the good ones ya?..for the paths i've gone wrong, never follow them...=)
To You, haiz...i dunno...loving you has been the hardest thing to do in my life...i've failed...i have been trying and trying and trying...hoping that someday you might like me back...honestly now i feel so tired...if God takes me now, i couldn't care less...8 years i've tried, and 8 years of pain is what i get in return...i don't know what else i can do to melt your heart...what's your heart made of?...tell me so i can try to melt it!...anyway now all i have to say is this...should i die, and you realize i'm gone, i just have 1 last wish...that you don't feel upset for too long...becos that will change nothing...if i die, all i hope is that you'll move on...find someone you love, and who loves you back...someone once loved you so much that he would gladly give up everything in this world for anything that would make life easier for you, and/or make you happier..that's something you can be happy about...but seriously, should i die, the last thing i'd want would be for you to be sad...if i'm gone, move on...
++ quoth dragonfly at 6:34 AM